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OUR VISION   &   MEDIATION

"I was studying with SWEPP some years ago and at the time saw a TV series I have referred to below.  I was also writing a novel and human nature was being explored.  The vision that was born, was to offer the ability to resolve conflict within families and in this instance to enable all people to feel comfortable in consulting someone that could facilitate planning and making a Will.  Why was that important?  My youngest brother had been killed in a car crash without a Will, despite it being planned, and in difficult family circumstances.  From that, it became important to ensure it was understood that a Will is something that provides a powerful legal document available to all and can do a lot more than leave a set of gifts.  A Will is not a luxurious afterthought nor is it a cheap piece of paper.  It is a standard need and cost, throughout your life, akin to the costs you put aside for driving lessons and running a car though interestingly, much less expensive, which if you think about what it can do, is amazing.  However, not doing your Will can have significant and unwelcome consequences.  It really is best if you can protect yourself, your future and the people you care about.  If conflict or worries are standing in your way, mediation can resolve that."

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The message for all to understand is that planning has become part of our daily lives, particularly now that the law has changed and evolved.   Planning is to organise yourselves and Prepare for the Future.  You do not know what is around the corner but that does not mean you cannot plan to live your best life.

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Mediation : Please note I do not offer the specialist service of Family Mediation that involves children such as in matters relating to divorce.  This is provided by specially regulated, trained and qualified mediators only.  I do otherwise specialise in family related intergenerational matters. I do provide mediation in many other respects so please do enquire.  Many mediators have a network of co-mediators with their own expertise which provides a rich well of expertise and understanding to apply to your situation.  

SPECIAL NOTE FOR BOTH PARTIES :  Often one side will contact us asking about mediation.  If you have been asked to consider mediation please see our "Request to Mediate" service.  Consider whether our NEW Empowered To Talk Service is more appropriate for your situation.  It aims to fill the gap in services where problems are arising or forseeable.  It provides a style of mediation that is used for premediation, prevention, de-escalation or where you need to reach agreement on difficult or sensitive matters.  Call us to discuss.

Patricia on Mediation: "For me, this incredible sculpture from the Ukraine says it all and who would have known how potent such a sculpture would be, when years later the Ukraine would be at war.   In our daily lives, by our nature, we prefer not to have conflict.  Inside we wish for peace and harmony and at least minimal negative stress in our lives.  Despite some claims that humans prefer conflict, the real truth seems to be we get drawn into conflict then can find no way out.  The increasing worldwide use of Mediation and its many forms, and its incredible success, is a testimony to that. 

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Some years ago, I saw a compelling TV series, that I still have not traced, where the question of why wills were not made was explored.  One of the reasons was the difficulty in resolving complex issues.  One of the many scenarios was a mother with 3 children.  Two boys and a girl all now adults.  The girl was physically severely disabled but mentally fully able.  The mother wanted to leave a big portion of her "estate" to the daughter in order to provide care for her as at the moment, Mum was the primrary carer.  Whilst the sons understood that, there were various factors they were upset about which meant no agreement was reached.  Mum loved all her children and could find no way forward.  Thus no Will was made.  A Mediator was brought in.  After putting everyone around the table together first, with agreement, each person was then interviewed seperately.  Each person was heard and taken into account.  A difficult situation but all parties reached agreement as to what should be done.  Mum made her Will which also avoided intestacy (dying without a Will) and the will being contested afterward and possible deepening of family upset.  The source of distress was finally put to rest.  It was a testament to the desire to end conflict and reach agreement.  I decided then, that one day I would like to be that mediator."

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This is the original article describing this sculpture by Alexi Panos at Burning Man in Sept 2015:

 

"One of the most powerful art pieces at #burningman this year: the sculpture of two adults fighting, backs to one another...yet the inner child in them both just wants to connect and love one another. Age has so many beautiful gifts, but one that I could live without is the pride and resentment we hold onto when we are in conflict with others. The forgiving, open and free spirit of children IS OUR TRUE NATURE; and I know I'll be remembering this next time I'm feeling stubborn" (LOVE by Ukraine artist Alexandr Milov)

 

Be in control.  Be Certain

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